Post by bextreme on Jun 14, 2021 15:06:04 GMT -5
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am sending this message as a goodbye from coaching and a thank you to wrestling.
I started coaching in Virginia in 2016. I was at one of the lowest points in my life and I knew I needed wrestling to save me. I wrestled for one of the most elite programs in the country. I honestly didn't think much about VA wrestling as my team destroyed one of the best programs several years earlier. One thing I always remained though throughout my coaching was humbleness. I never thought I was better than another grown adult because of my wrestling experience. I didn't jump to try to coach a really good team. I wanted a true challenge. I knew I would learn so much more going to a team with a weak program instead of a team that is already built. Don't be that coach that looks for the best team to coach. Go for the team that needs help building and change lives. Some things I experienced coaching:
1) A lot of ego driven coaches. I never looked at a coach and went, "O my god, he coaches for _____" I probably should bow down to them. It felt like many coaches did act like they were better than everyone else because of the team they coach or what they did 20+ years ago. Coaches, be humble. It should be a family among coaches. We all give so much just to see kids grow in wrestling and in life. Just because you coach 8 state champs in Virginia, does not mean your above the coach who has none make it out of regions. There is no reason coaches should walk around with a chip on there shoulder. Support each other and be friendly. I'll even give a personal story which I believe it is actually Trojan Man who is the New Kent coach I am referring to in this story. It was during states several years ago and I was sitting by myself. A new Kent coach (not the one with glasses sorry I don't know names) but another one, comes up and sits right next to me. We didn't know each other and all I knew was I coached a team who was nowhere on the same level as New Kent. Well this coach did not look down on me or think I was less of a coach. We talked and my first impression of him was "he is a leader that is transforming lives on and off the mat". That small interaction I had with him at states meant so much just because other coaches made me feel like I wasn't "elite" enough. I literally dealt with coaches who would not even respond to me with simple "good morning" or "how it going".
2) Parents, stop trying to live through your children. I know you want what is best for them and want them to succeed, but let them be student-athletes as well. What you did in wrestling 40 years ago does not matter. Stop staring at your trophies and let your kid be a kid. When my father watched me wrestle, he didn't need to say a word. He let my coaches coach and he was my parent. Stop trying to coach your son when they have coaches. I don't care if your son is ranked 5th in the state in Virginia. Raise your kid to be a gentlemen, athlete, student, and just a great person. When you just jam wrestling down there throat and nothing else in life, they can easily become lost. I have seen some nationally ranked high school wrestlers turn into drug addicts, alcoholics, and just ruff people when wrestling was over. Teach them life skills and be a parent.
I end you with this. The goal for coaches and parents is usually to produce state champs. I understand that and want our athletes to be the best they can. But guess what ladies and gentlemen. The most successful wrestlers are the ones that learn about life from the sport. They learn that hard work does pay off and we hit bumps in the road. The athletes are going to remember your leadership and mentorship. Thank you all for an amazing coaching experience. I hope to take my coaching to the next state I start my new career in in 2022.
I am sending this message as a goodbye from coaching and a thank you to wrestling.
I started coaching in Virginia in 2016. I was at one of the lowest points in my life and I knew I needed wrestling to save me. I wrestled for one of the most elite programs in the country. I honestly didn't think much about VA wrestling as my team destroyed one of the best programs several years earlier. One thing I always remained though throughout my coaching was humbleness. I never thought I was better than another grown adult because of my wrestling experience. I didn't jump to try to coach a really good team. I wanted a true challenge. I knew I would learn so much more going to a team with a weak program instead of a team that is already built. Don't be that coach that looks for the best team to coach. Go for the team that needs help building and change lives. Some things I experienced coaching:
1) A lot of ego driven coaches. I never looked at a coach and went, "O my god, he coaches for _____" I probably should bow down to them. It felt like many coaches did act like they were better than everyone else because of the team they coach or what they did 20+ years ago. Coaches, be humble. It should be a family among coaches. We all give so much just to see kids grow in wrestling and in life. Just because you coach 8 state champs in Virginia, does not mean your above the coach who has none make it out of regions. There is no reason coaches should walk around with a chip on there shoulder. Support each other and be friendly. I'll even give a personal story which I believe it is actually Trojan Man who is the New Kent coach I am referring to in this story. It was during states several years ago and I was sitting by myself. A new Kent coach (not the one with glasses sorry I don't know names) but another one, comes up and sits right next to me. We didn't know each other and all I knew was I coached a team who was nowhere on the same level as New Kent. Well this coach did not look down on me or think I was less of a coach. We talked and my first impression of him was "he is a leader that is transforming lives on and off the mat". That small interaction I had with him at states meant so much just because other coaches made me feel like I wasn't "elite" enough. I literally dealt with coaches who would not even respond to me with simple "good morning" or "how it going".
2) Parents, stop trying to live through your children. I know you want what is best for them and want them to succeed, but let them be student-athletes as well. What you did in wrestling 40 years ago does not matter. Stop staring at your trophies and let your kid be a kid. When my father watched me wrestle, he didn't need to say a word. He let my coaches coach and he was my parent. Stop trying to coach your son when they have coaches. I don't care if your son is ranked 5th in the state in Virginia. Raise your kid to be a gentlemen, athlete, student, and just a great person. When you just jam wrestling down there throat and nothing else in life, they can easily become lost. I have seen some nationally ranked high school wrestlers turn into drug addicts, alcoholics, and just ruff people when wrestling was over. Teach them life skills and be a parent.
I end you with this. The goal for coaches and parents is usually to produce state champs. I understand that and want our athletes to be the best they can. But guess what ladies and gentlemen. The most successful wrestlers are the ones that learn about life from the sport. They learn that hard work does pay off and we hit bumps in the road. The athletes are going to remember your leadership and mentorship. Thank you all for an amazing coaching experience. I hope to take my coaching to the next state I start my new career in in 2022.